Why trust us? We take expert advice, test, research and select products independently. If you buy through links on our website, we may earn an affiliate commission read more.

Forgiving What You Can’t Forget Self-Help Book Review

This is a book written by American speaker and author Lysa TerKeurst, published in November 2020. She is also famous for the book ‘Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than.

Forgiving What You Can't Forget

Forgiving What You Can't Forget

  • Author: Lysa TerKeurst
  • ISBN-10: 0718039874
  • Release date: November 17, 2020


Wrestling through the journey of feeling stuck in a cycle of unresolved pain, playing offenses over and over in your mind, TerKeurst discovered that, to find life-giving freedom, you have to let go of bound-up resentment and resistance to forgiving people who aren't willing to make things right. If someone is trying to make things right and seeks advice, or just want to read about the functioning of relationships and their complex nature should own a copy of the book.


  • How to deal with loss and pain
  • Engaging narrative


  • Certain topics and chapters might not be suitable for young adults
Ease of use

The details

How is it possible to move beyond the pain of a terrible, life-altering event? How can you go on when the person you love most is the cause of your hurt? Author Lysa TerKeurst has faced these questions in her own life, and she shares how her belief in God and the act of forgiveness freed her to live the happier life she ultimately deserved. In the book ‘Forgiving What You Can’t Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again’, TerKeurst teaches you that it’s time to stop suffering over the things other people have done to you. Using deep empathy, Bible teachings, and insights, she teaches you how to find peace again finally.


A 30 something with mental health issues who can’t seem to let go of their past, or a 69-year-old that’s going through a divorce, struggles with the pain, or a teenager that feels alone and can’t connect to their parent emotionally, and anyone who wants to find healing in forgiveness, should read this book. The book shows a positive message of forgiving and forgetting.

Ease of use

The book shows a similar path that readers might already know in their hearts, but couldn’t implement. It follows as: Learn how to move on when the other person refuses to change and doesn’t say they’re sorry; Walk through a process to free yourself from the hurt of your past and feel less offended afterward; Discover what the Bible really says about forgiveness and the peace that comes from living it out right now; Identify what’s stealing trust and vulnerability from your relationships so you can believe it is still good ahead; Disempower the triggers hijacking your emotions by embracing the two necessary parts of forgiveness.


Forgiving What You Can’t Forget feels relatable to most of the readers. Everyone has a past and there are always stones in that path. Some stones might be worth cherishing like diamonds and some are just unworthy pebbles. The book quite accurately summarizes what one should do to seek forgiveness. Forgive and forget should be the mantra of a well and level-headed mind. The book never lags to deliver an awesome next chapter, leaving readers wanting more.


Dealing with your traumas is harder if you try to be too optimistic about them. People who experience pain will often do things that numb it rather than face it. Some people might choose drugs, alcohol, or casual sex. Other people try to cover up the pain by being overly positive, so they can convince themselves that they are okay. The author chose the latter. She would keep telling herself everything was okay and that she forgave her unfaithful people in the past. But her therapist saw through this. He told her that she was using positivity and hyper-spiritualization to cover up her real feelings. She wasn’t dealing with the pain. Foreshadowing the pain can make it worse, and facing those fears could become easier in the long term. TerKeurst believes forgiveness isn’t a destination but a process.

The book is mostly driven by TerKeurst’s past life and experiences and the difficulties she faced in various relationships. Our views are the representation of our past experiences. Some of those experiences might be good and some bitter. According to her, ‘Being overly optimistic is just one of the many coping mechanisms that make it harder to deal with your traumas.’ People, who impulsively and emotionally take decisions, tend to make mistakes worse. She also adds that to forgive someone one must follow the three-step process i.e. collecting, connecting, and correcting the dots of your past.

Final verdict

Forgiveness is a process, not an event. Forgiving What You Can’t Forget is a heart-warming book that showcases the message of forgiveness. The reliability of events and experiences feels uncanny to readers. Those who want to inspire to mend relationships towards property should read this book.

Become a member

Sign up for our newsletter to get exlusive new content and giveaways.

By continuing, you accept the privacy policy.
No spam. Unsubscribe any time!